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Jesus or Nothing

"Non Nisse Te Domine." - Thomas Aquinas

I have the above quote engraved on the bottom of a watch that my father gave me several years ago. It means "Nothing if not you, Lord." Thomas Aquinas, 13th century monk and one of the most influential theologians and philosophers in all of history, said this after having a vision of Jesus. Reportedly Christ appeared to him and said "You have written well of me, Thomas. What what you have as a reward?" "Non nisse te Domine," was the response. After that, even though Thomas had dedicated his life to writing theology and was in the middle of writing his massive Summa Theologia, Thomas stopped writing. He said it was because all he had written, tomes and tomes of brilliant work, were as straw compared to seeing the actual Lord.

Whatever you may think about such a mystical event, I personally believe it happened but I understand the more skeptical among us, the response of Thomas is what matters. When asked for a reward all he wanted was Jesus himself. Compared to all the riches of the world, all the knowledge of the cosmos, and ultimate power all Thomas wanted was Jesus. If not him, then nothing would suffice.

Is my heart so committed to Jesus that nothing else will satisfy my soul? This is a question I constantly ask myself. If Christ were to appear to me and offered me anything, would my deepest desire already be met because he is there? Do I desire Jesus himself or what Jesus can give me?

Do I desire heaven because I don't want to go to hell or because Jesus is there? Do I attend church because I like the music, have friends, and benefit from a community (all good things) or because I yearn for Jesus? Is Jesus really the object of my desire, the craving of my soul, or is it something else?

Is the Father's grace as revealed in Jesus and made manifest in the Spirit sufficient for me? This will be a life long journey ever deeper into the heart of Christ, of conforming to the Cross so I may partake in the new life of the Resurrection. I pray that God is with me and all of you as we continually seek out Jesus.

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