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Regrets

Every one of us has regrets. I think it's a normal part of living in this world. Some regrets are small, like having a second helping at dinner that makes our stomach upset. There are others that are big. These are the regrets that keep us up at night. They keep us wondering if we had just said something different or had been there a little earlier things would be different now.

I have no answer for how to deal with regret. Everyone is different and copes differently with this issue. Some bury regret deep down and let it fester, but never really acknowledge it. Others act out and their guilt or other feelings manifests as increasingly dangerous or risky behavior. Still others dwell in their regret and become depressed, running through scenarios over and over again even years later.

To be completely honest, I'm one of the latter people. There are days where my mind is filled with nothing but regrets of things I said (or didn't say) and did (or didn't do). I can stay awake for hours fretting over some minor interaction that happened ten years ago. Intellectually I know this doesn't accomplish anything and is bad for me, but it just keeps happening.

It's in times like this when I need to be reminded of just who God is. Lamentations 3:22-24

The steadfast love of YHWH never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"YHWH is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."

For those of us who struggle with regret this is wonderful news and a challenge. No matter how guilty or bad we feel about what has happened in the past, God's love never ceases. His mercy is never ending. In fact, they are renewed every morning. This is good news because it means that regret is not the end of our story. It is not an unbeatable rut. It is a challenge because so many of us are so used to regret and guilt that the offer of God's grace seems wild and dangerous. Regret has sadly become our home.

I pray that as we all struggle with different regrets in all our different ways we can all say that God is our portion, that we are content with his presence. These few verses in Lamentations come after a long section of mourning, anger, and loss. These uplifting words come in the midst of immense grief and pain. Praise God that he never lets little things like hurt and heartbreak stand in the way of us and his mercy.

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