I think that most of the time we all hate being uncertain. We like stability and the comfort of being sure that we want, believe, or profess to know is true and good. We want our relationships with our friends, family, and other loved ones to be well defined. It's uncomfortable to not know where you stand with someone you care about.
The same is true in matters of religion and faith. We like certainty, of being sure that we are on the right path or believing in the right thing. It makes us feel safe, secure, and stable when we are certain about the particulars of our faith. This is the great draw of fundamentalism and is the reason so many of the churches and Christian communities in our country could be identified as such.
There is, however, a problem with certainty. Actually, there are multiple problems with it. The first is that when a community is absolutely certain about their particular interpretations, understandings, and practices it shuts down honest questioning and seeking. Doubt becomes a chief heresy and people who doubt are seen as sinners, because doubts and questions threaten the certainty. There is no room to obey what Jude commands, to be merciful to those who doubt.
Another problem is that of factionalism, something Paul starkly warns against in 1 Corinthians. If you are absolutely certain that your position and interpretations are correct then, as a natural consequence, you believe everyone else is wrong. This leads to us assuming we are better than others, that somehow we have cracked the code while they still mill about in the darkness. At best we think those who disagree are ignorant and at worst malicious false teachers who knowingly deviate from scripture.
Having this kind of absolute certainty also leads to prioritizing the wrong things in theology and practice. The certain things inevitably end up becoming more and more important because those are the things that people are comfortable with. After all, we know for sure about that so let's talk about it more. This means we raise up secondary or even tertiary matters to the level of primary, foundational concerns. A good example from my tradition is that of instrumental music, something that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, yet we have at times made that almost a test of being a Christian!
The answer to all this is to embrace our uncertainty. Now we need to be clear about our definitions; being uncertain does not mean being unconfident. I can be confident in my beliefs about particular matters without being absolutely certain. What's the difference? Humility.
When we are humble we recognize several things. First, that we can learn major lessons from other people who disagree with us. Second, that our own perceptions and reasoning is biased and, as it is with everyone, distorted by sin. Third, that God works and exists beyond the limits of our understanding.
Uncertainty can be a gift because it drives us to learn more about Jesus. Should we be confident in our faith and doctrine? Yes, if it is well grounded in scripture and we have thought it through. Should we be so certain that there is nothing we can learn from other perspectives? Of course not. Being open and honest about our own uncertainty about things, though we remain confident, also makes our churches a safe place for those who have doubts and questions.
Am I 100% certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Christianity is true? No. I still have struggles and questions with certain aspects of the faith. Am I extremely confident in Christianity? Absolutely. I have bet my entire life and livelihood on it because I have very good reasons to believe. Admitting this distinction is challenging, but it allows us to be honest and continue to search for truth, goodness, and beauty.
I used to think my uncertainty was a weakness, even if I was 99% sure that 1% bugged me. Now I see it as a blessing, something that the Holy Spirit is using to keep pushing me deeper into the knowledge of Jesus Christ and into relationship with the Father. It also is a huge weight off my shoulders, because it means that I don't have to be completely sure about every little matter of doctrine. I can explore the questions and doubts without risk of losing my certainty.
So, I encourage you not to be scared of being uncertain. It is not the same thing as having no confidence in what you believe. I am highly confident in my faith in Jesus Christ, but I still have questions and occasional doubts. It wasn't easy for me to admit that to myself and to God, but once I did I was able to trust not on my own understanding but on His.
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